The Incarnate
“Sope, what’s up?”
“The sky. sksksk-”
“What’s going on, Bes?”
“Life’s going on, but I miss you.”
:-(
*
You remember the first day you both met. The awkwardness the air held as he walked close to where you stood. One of the silly, drunk boys had dared him to kiss the most beautiful girl in the room, he picked you. Your heart furiously thumping, your legs frozen into the earth as he placed his hands on your waist. You wanted to react, run away. But something had possessed your body and left you standing in the middle of a cheering crowd, helpless. You remember the scent his skin bore as he whispered into your ears, "I’m sorry." Those words had undone something in you, loosened every guard you had left. You closed your eyes and drew his scent in as his lips collided with yours. You don’t remember at what moment it was your heart ceased beating.
It was supposed to be a game, but weeks after the first experience at the party saw you talking long hours over the phone with this total stranger. You fell for him, his wry sense of humor. It was a slow, delightful process, this falling; like his slow sipping of wine from glasses at dates, rolling it back and forth in his tongue before swallowing to savour the taste. Months later saw you staying the weekend — which later expanded into longer days as slowly your toothbrush moved in, then your clothes — in his room, dancing to the loud beat of Tekno’s Up Tempo playing from the stereo at midnight to his neighbour’s chagrin. You liked the way his eyes glowed when they stared at you, how his lips quirked stylishly upward whenever he smiled. You liked the miracle that was his kiss, the healing that reverberated within your cores when he was inside you. You adored his brilliance, his conversations spiced with delicate humor and intelligence.
*
“Come back”
“Everything’s going to be fine,Bes.”
“Why’s life so unfair, Kasope?”
“Life’s a bitch. But it’s just life.”
“Yeah, right...”
“I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. The irony of love....”
*
You met Francis at a Tech startup bootcamp three months later, after he’d shared his innovation with the judges. His design was an app capable of simulating human entity; a digipersonal assistant that operated over a neural network of previously programmed personal information to act in place of its programmer.
His design was rejected.
Yet, there was something about Francis that reminded you of Kasope.
"My friend would've loved your project design", you said. "Pity he isn't here."
"Where is he?"
"Deceased."
His face contorted into something resembling pity.
"I’m sorry", he said. And after sometime he asked, "How can I help?"
"Right. Your design.... Can it bring the dead back?"
Confused, he didn't reply.
You both exchanged contacts.
“How’s it over there?”
“Boring! I’d rather be with people.”
“Do you play basketball there?”
“Nah-”
“Does God exist?”
“Nope. Not that I’ve seen.”
“What’ve you been up to, Bes?”
“Cigarettes. Alcohol. Drowning my sorrows...”
“Haha — better to drown your organs instead with water. The ability to feel sorrow makes us human.”
“I still remember that night”
“There were many nights, Bes.”
*
That night, a call had come in. The voice over the phone said they found his body. He drowned. You did not believe the strange voice, you declined when asked to come identify the body. It had to be a joke. He’d promised to return to you.
When, finally, you accepted reality, you archived all his texts, rereading them each night, for the past three months, before crying yourself to sleep. You wanted so badly to bring him back, speak with him, even for a minute, to ask him why he left.
You asked Francis if you were doing the right thing. He’d fed Kasope’s feedbacks into the network.
“This is a test-run, there’s no guarantee it’ll meet your expectations, yunno?”
You asked, as he handed you the compact box with the device wrapped nicely inside, “What if it doesn’t sound like him?"
"There’s only one way of knowing.”
*
“Do you remember how we first met?”
“Remind me.”
“You don’t remember, do you?”
“You’re the most important person in my life, Bes❤. You’re the most important person in my life, Bes❤. You’re the most important……”
You shut the system down.
It isn’t him, sounds nothing like him. He’d never forget how you first met. The uncanniness of the setting, the calm breeze, the trembling of his hands in yours. He’d hoped you’d push him away, he later said when you started seeing each other. This isn’t your Kasope. You shut the laptop and let the tears flow.
"Bessie?"
You turn to the open door and he’s there, leaning against the frame, lips quirked up in a smile.
